i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
