Your face is a jimmy john
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
