That's when you crack a 10am beer
Who did Billy Mays play for?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
