Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
