Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
