Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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