He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
