ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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