just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
