You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
