I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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