Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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