She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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