I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
