Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
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Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
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It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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