I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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