May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
