WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize