I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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