I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
