I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
