Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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