I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
