Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
