That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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