you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
