dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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