Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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