So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
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Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
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If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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