his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
