Sponge bath it is.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize