Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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