so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
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She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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