This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.