Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.