carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.