My sheets look like a crime scene.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My dick has a subreddit
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights