i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
