Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
