I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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