i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
