This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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