I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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