i just wanna soil my oats bro
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
PANTIES FOUND
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
