11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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