I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you didnt know i had herpes?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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