sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
