Redeem this text for a blowjob
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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