god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
