Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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