The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
