I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
