a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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