just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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