My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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