I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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