I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize