It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
