dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize