$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
