dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
