my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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