is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
