He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
